Post by Forever Flea on Jul 12, 2017 23:39:11 GMT -5
LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria
FL: After i was trained, I was doing Miami Wrestling as a anouser, and would wrestle a show or two but i couldnt get booked a lot since my father owned the place and was afraid of tallent back lash, along with the local press, i couldnt work Blow bwcouse of the adult theme. So I went to a local mexican promotion in Nuevo Laredo. Becouse of the histery of wrestling in mexico and of my father who worked there as el diablo de fuego, what stood for the Devil of Fire under the same masked that he wore before being un masked in Mexico some 20 years before. Me with Jasmine would fly to nuevo work the show and leave. My dad paid more for my trval then i was making but got needed ring work and i wasn't compared to family
Royalty is back in Mexico Promo 2011
Don't call me El Gringo,For Wrestling loyalty is imposed by the roots that I was dentin to achieve! LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria. Is here to save the world from the roots of evil and the empire of El Loco Ceva! My Power has risen to defeat you men!El diablo de fuego my father the great El diablo de fuego set this town on fire some 20 years ago and now it is my time to rise upon the deaths of people! Royalty is back in Mexico! Esta chica de lucha libre, podría ser una niña, pero yo voy a darle una patada en culo al estilo Bomba de Fuego
FL: It was from there I Learned I learned that people either liked of disliked my family
Little Miss Murder" Peek A Boo promo towards LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria
“So I should give her some advice listen up im not speaking twice. I don't want to hurt you So get in the stands and just be a Peekachu and Girl, who the hell do you think you are? It's not like your career is going far. More pre occupied with your thong it's a miracle you've been a live this long better off sucking Daddys tiny tiny shlong Least you get paid and look at it this way It's something you're actually good at Also lying on your back not just sexual see”"Little Miss Murder" Peek A Boo
Is that all you have for me girl!!!!
Is that all you have for me girl, I don't know if that was a bad attempt at rapping or someone that doesn't know and payed some PI to give them info that they misunderstand, I am LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria, what if you don't understand stands for the daughter of Firebomb, the icon! That gives me some perks but I want to make a name for myself at my young age! Anyways, Bitch I am 13 years old! What do you mean? “live this long:” you must got me confused with some other family member I am not that big of a party-er, expect when I hang with the girls and that's rare! But lets face it its in my blood so I just have to have it under control, just like my temper and wrestling! Peek A Boo that's not a name its a game I play with my nieces, not an name. My brother in law warned me that there will be a lot of clowns and haters in this game we call Pro wrestling but come girl,you made this just too dang easy,for me! And as far as my Daddy's shlong , he probably never gave you any of his time cause it's not small! As far as being good a lying on my back! You don't know me bitch, stop making look like a cheap trick cause i'm not that at all! You little bitch!!!
FL: Looking back i was greaner then the weed Lucy smoked, however durring that summer i was learning the bussness. After that tour i was taking match or 2 in miami wrestling house shows without the mask but i wanted to work WpW was running Heatwave 2011 in Miami and my sister and cousion were having a big match Angel vs Lucy was going to draw and i wanted on that show to nest egg my own money and i found a way on it.
The Flying Turd Heatwave 2011 Promo
The Flying Turd is seen, visible from the waist up wearing what appears to be a black tuxedo. His hair is as greasy and smile as goofy as ever.}
TFT: Yo, yo, yo…what’s up my home-skillet, home-fry, G-dawgs. This is the original gangster from Turkey Scratch, The…FLYING….TURRRRRRRRD!
{TFT gives a little wink.}
TFT: You can see I’m dressed for success right now, been celebrating my big victory over Jeremy Adonis in the Hotlanta. My boy Ludafris was real proud of me getting the win and we partied like rock stars…well, gangster rappers. OG for-life!
Ludafris even introduced me to a little lady named Loraine and got down with the get down if you understand my statements. POOP!
I’m in Miami right now, enjoying the sun and fun and women in tiny-weenie bikinis. I feel in love seven times already. I have also been watching a little WpW TV, yippee! I’m going to play my favorite superstars for you right now.
{Clearing his throat, TFT spits up a nice size loogie.}
TFT: Oops. A little flemnation going on in my temple. Anyway, guess who I am:
I find WpW to be very luminousness and succulent. I am going to incite tremendous devastation upon the cranium of multiple Homo sapiens at Goldpush from Miami. I am going to unleash an extremely high amount of demoralization and constipation upon the nation, like a Haitian. After the match, I will attempt some copulation with various Homo sapiens follow my devastation and demoralization of the Haitians.
{TFT grins from ear to ear, what appears to be corn stuck between two of his teeth.}
TFT: You know who I was right there? Robbie Milano, Jr! You’re right! He likes to use big words, but I don’t think he knows what they mean…just like me! Ok, next one.
You have done anything. You can’t wipe your own ass. Your momma sucks elephant schlong. You can’t beat me. You can’t beat anybody. You look like a dookie-butt!
{Still grinning, TFT finds himself quite hilarious.}
TFT: I was Chris Lee…yay me! Ok, last one…best one yet! POOP!
{TFT tightens his shoulders, appearing much larger than he really is.}
TFT: I thnik dat you scuk wrsoe tnah evreybdoy n WppW. I wons th bigest bell in th wrold bcause i m freibombing pimmp. i dorp turds biger thn th fling turd.
{TFT growls violently and begins beating on his chest.}
TFT: Get it, I was Firebomb. People make fun of me POOP, but I am cooler than Firebomb. I make sense, if you understand what I am trying to make you understanding while I trying to make WpW understand that I am cool understand?
Any who-aroo, I am gonna be rockin’ like a hurricane in Miami at Heatwave. I am gonna be too cool for school because I am gonna be on pay-per-view, but not with my pants down. POOP! I may get into porn later, but I’m a wrestler now.
{TFT makes a wide O with his mouth, as if surprised.}
TFT: I forgot to shout-out to my home skillets. Ted, Teddy, Ted II in Turkey Scratch, I’m famous! Tell my momma, but don’t tell Linda Lou. She’s still pissed I put it in the wrong hole. Oh no!
Ok, back to business biotches. I beat Jeremy Adonis, everybody see that? The big bad wolf got his behind burnt by the man, the myth, the legend from Turkey Scratch…THE FLYING TURD.
{TFT makes an airplane gesture with his arms.}
TFT: I knew I was going to beat that big baboon goon, so I made a challenge to anybody with the balls…or boobs, I like boobs…to wrestle the champion of chaffing, THE FLYING TURD!
It appears talented terrors have descended on the valley of WpW to try to slay the dragon of life that is THE FLYING TURD! POOP!
{TFT brings his hands in front of his face, simulating a boxer.}
TFT: One of the craziest crazies trying to slay the beast from the middle-eastern Arkansas general area is Stunkle. Hmm…Stunkle you look like my uncle and talk like Firebomb, but I bet you don’t get booty from cuties like Firebomb because you aren’t special. I know that you know that I know that we know that you know that I know you want to take a shot at getting famous. You want to get famous by betting a true turd like myself. Newsflash jackass, I will karate chop you like Jackie Chan. I am a polka dot belt in taekwondo, that’s what my momma told me.
In Miami, I am going to strike you like a violent ostrich with my vicious talons and devastate you totally. After the match, I would like to speak with you because you won a championship one time back in the day and I wanna know how somebody with no talent can be a champion in world pro wrestling, because that could pay off for me someday down the road because I want to be a champion to and people say I have no talent, like my momma. POOP!
No matter what my momma say, I’m gonna ruin your day Stunkle-butt. You are going to get the final flush for the first time and hopefully the last because you suck more ding-dong than T-Bomb’s momma. POOP!
{TFT begins to feel the corn stuck in his teeth and uses his right hand to fish it out while he continues to talk.}
TFT: I also understand that La Horny de Bimbo wants to roll around with the turd. Baby, I got what you need. You see them thrusts I threw at Adonis in Atlanta? Girl, I got what you need. I’m gonna bend you over my knee and spank you like a skank. Then I am going to kick you in your teeth and cop a feel of your boobies and run before you can punch me in my goody-boy parts.
Its ok, though. You can call me after the match and I’ll give you four inches of fury La Horny de Bimbo.
{TFT winks.}
TFT: Last but not least is the sexy beast…LILLY! I think I love you. Will you love me to? What is your favorite color? Where are you from? Can I move into your bedroom? I’ll sleep in the closet? What are you wearing? Pretty panties? Hmmmm….sexy.
I am going to bow down to your beautiful boobies, boo. I love tit-tit-taroos! POOP! I’ll probably let you have your way with me. I know you secretly want to touch my body, its ok. I don’t mind. I really need to beat you, though, cause I need to win so all my friend will think I’m cool. The women love me in Turkey Scratch, there are three of them. You can come, too. You could make four.
So, since I know there is some sexual tension between us Lilly, how about we take La Horny de Bimbo after the match and take it somewhere private? We can take Stunkle, too…I bet you dig him. No crossing swords, Stunkle! POOP!
{TFT throws his arms into the air and waves them around, a dance of some sort.}
TFT: I am gonna win in more ways than one in Miami! Oh yeah, POOP! I know that you know that Lilly knows that I know that we know that you know that they know that we need to celebrate after I win again! I’m a winner mommy! POOP!
{TFT waves goodbye.}
TFT: Adios amigos. Peace out. Ta-ta for now. TTYL. Bye bye!
{TFT turns to walk away, as he steps further from the camera it becomes obvious he wasn’t wearing any pants with his tuxedo top. There it is for the world to see, his pale white ass on the airwaves of WpW 88. The camera man chuckles a little, causing TFT to check out the situation. Instead of turning around, he ducks and looks through his spread legs.}
TFT: What’s funny, OG Skittles?
{The screen quickly fades away before the four inches of fury make headlines.}
La hija de Bomba Heatwave Promo
La hija de Bomba, The myth the story , the lady was arrived in WpW! To respond to Flying Turd's open challenge, funny thing my father once told me, if it smells like crap and looks like crap then it must be crap. Turd you are crap, I have come a long way from Mexico to make my WpW debut. And to take up your Open challenge, you have opened you smelly mouth one to many times, and now you will pay the price from La hija de Bomba, the flying wiz kid is here in WpW!Defeat will come and you shell soon discover that La hija de Bomba, is more than a name is who I am and what I do, Turd be careful of what you wish for you shell receive it, I might be a lady but I pack a lota of Bomba in my strikes! cuando se juega con fuego se queman de Nuevo!!!!
La hija de Bomba Heatwave Promo #2
So, we have this Flying Turd guy that is so desperate to get laid that he wants to get down on me, Turd before you can go downtown you have to find your way downtown, a little hard for someone that has the same education level as me! La Horny de Bimbo is that what your calling me trust me if I was horny I would go to turkey scratch to cure it. Poop, La hija de Bomba is going to win Bobbies are not I am going to win, you little horny bastardy devil La hija de Bomba wins like always SO POOP THAT!!!Yes, I am a masked little girl, this mask is the same mask that my father el demonio del fuego wore this mask is evil and good put into one this mask makes me a 2md generation wrester and this mask is what is going to help me beat you Turd you might fly but I sore threw out the sky like my father did in Mexico so many years ago, you can run and grope all the bobbies you want, after your done playing with the boobies you’re not going to know what hit you! Causa cuando juegas con fuego obtendrá el culo quemado
FL: I knew this was going to be a corny gimicked matched but I was on a major WPW Pay per view or as my sister says PAPERVIEW!
WPW HEATWAVE 2011
{"I Feel Good" by James Brown begins playing as smoke fills the arena. The former All-Time TV Champion makes his way from the back down to the ring, looking out of place and a little comical. Reaching the ringside area, he makes a circle around the ring taking time to slide his butt across the announce table.}RA: Introducing first….former WpW All-Time TV Champion….STUNKLE!CC: That’s disgusting.CY: Expect no less, but he is a former champion.{Stunkle climbs onto the apron and steps through the ropes and into the ring.}CY: Now we get to see everybody’s favorite piece of shi…
{"Sh-t Song" begins to play and The Flying Turd breaks from the back in a dead sprint. He makes it about ten feet down the ramp before tripping and rolling the rest of the way down the ramp. He lays flat on his back for a few seconds before slowly making his way to his feet.}
RA: *laughing* Coming to the ring now….from Turkey Scratch, Arkansas….THE FLYING TURD!
{“I’m ok, I’m ok” he mumbles into the camera as he continues towards the ring. He attempts to jump from the floor to the apron, but can’t quite make it. He takes a couple steps back and uses a running start to finally reach the apron.}
CY: Go turd!
CC: The biggest joke in World Pro Wrestling.
CY: How dare you!
{As TFT enters the ring, Stunkle attempts a lariat. TFT ducks the attempts and springs off the ropes. Stunkle attempts another lariat, but again TFT ducks and bounds off the ropes on the other side. In a third attempt at the lariat, TFT baseball slides between Stunkle’s legs. With Stunkle facing towards the ramp, TFT gives him a kick to the backside then jumps on his back and locks on a sloppy sleeper.}
CY: Technical wrestling at its finest!
CC: I really don’t understand how this is happening on pay-per-view.
{Stunkle tries to fight the sleeper, but finally drops to a knee. The referee checks on his status periodically. Then, abruptly, TFT releases the hold and grabs his left elbow. You can hear him yell, “my arm is tired…hold on”.}
CC: Really? The Flying Turd broke his own sleeper because his arm is tired?
{Stunkle gets back to his feet and nails TFT across the chest with a hard chop. Turd screams, only to be met with another chop from Stunkle. Chest visibly red, the third chop from Stunkle draws anger from TFT. “The hurts you sh-t head” is the response TFT musters in-ring.}
CY: Stunkle needs to get it together, we can’t ruin a prime talent like The Flying Turd.
{Stunkle sends a knee to TFT’s gut and executes a horrible-looking vertical suplex. TFT lands awkwardly on the back of his head and neck. Wasting no time, Stunkle spins to his feet and attempts a cover…….1………….2…………KICK-OUT!}
CC: Close call there for The Flying Turd.
{Stunkle grabs TFT by his nappy hair and catches him across the face with a couple of big forearms, then lifts him to his feet. TFT blocks Stunkle’s attempt to whip him across the ring, instead sending Stunkle bounding into the ropes. On the return, TFT executes a drop kick the sends Stunkle to his back. Following up with a standing splash, TFT goes for a cover….1……2…..KICK-OUT!}
CY: Oh, slow count!
CC: You’ve got to be kidding.
{Hopping to his feet, TFT begins to sprint in a circle around the ring, arms held out like an airplane. This provides Stunkle time to get to his feet. With TFT’s attention elsewhere, Stunkle attempts a shoulder block, but TFT notices and slides out of the way. Stunkle charges right into the turnbuckle instead and slumps to his knees in the corner. TFT backs into the opposite corner and waits for Stunkle to get to his feet. Once up, TFT charges Stunkle.}
CY: IMPACT!
{Stunkle ducks as TFT goes into the air. Turd comes down grabbing Stunkle around the back of his knees and uses his legs to get leverage on Stunkle’s arms, pulling him backwards into a pinning attempt.}
CY: No, FINAL FLUSH!
CC: A version of the sunset flip by The Flying Turd.
{Stunkle rolls backwards, shoulders to the mat as TFT gets leverage for the pin…1……2……3}
CY: Stunkle is eliminated.
CC: Being a gauntlet match, the next competitor will now enter.
{TFT release Stunkle who rolls out of the ring and to the floor. Turd looks toward the ramp waiting the next participant.}
CY: Who’s next?
{Stunkle makes his way up the ramp, head down. TFT laughs at him as he walks away, but is caught by surprise when the next competitor appears from the crowd.}
CC: There she is, the masked La hija de Bomba!
RA: Now in the ring, LA HIJA DE BOMB!
{La hija de Bomba goes right to work on TFT, who is facing away. A spinning heel kick to his ribs and a standing drop kick flatten TFT. La hija de Bomba goes for a quick cover….1….KICK OUT!}
CC: Quick cover attempt by Le hija de Bomba.
{Both wrestlers rolls to their feet. TFT attempts a clothesline, but La hija de Bomba ducks the attempt and grabs TFT’s hair on the way through, pulling him hard to the mat. La hija de Bomba quickly drops to the mat and locks in an el amarre.}
CY: Let’s go Turd!
CC: Chinlock with armbar combination by La hija de Bomba.
{The referee checks with TFT, who is battling the move. He tries to throw a couple of elbows to the masked face of La hija de Bomba, but she simply tightens the hold. In a last ditch effort, TFT reaches around and grabs a handful of boob, forcing La hija de Bomba to quickly release the hold and drawing immense laughter from the crowd.}
CY: He likes boobs.
CC: He’s despicable, an absolute embarrassment.
{With both fighters to their feet, La hija de Bomba attempts a shotie, rocking TFT with the palm thrust. She follows up with a uraken, causing TFT to drop to his knees holding his head with both hands. A swift kick to the head forces TFT to fall forward in a heap. La hija de Bomba quickly pulls him to his feet as TFT staggers around.}
CY: Oh, this is bad news.
{With TFT staggering around, La hija de Bomba sprints across the ring and bounds off the second rope attempting a quebrada.}
CC: Springboard moonsault.
{Instead of dropping TFT, the Turd is able to catch the similar sized La hija de Bomba and drops her in a modified face-first sit-down powerbomb.}
CY: WOW!
{In a state of shock, TFT simply sits and stares at La hija de Bomba who is flat on her stomach. Rolling to his feet, TFT lifts La hija de Bomba off the mat and locks her in a side headlock. Executing a somersault, TFT plants La hija de Bomba with his finisher, the Turd Cutter.}
CC: It may be over.
CY: TURD CUTTER! Corkscrew neckbreaker by The Flying Turd!
{TFT quickly rolls on top of La hija de Bomba and attempts the pin….1…..2…..3!}
CC: La hija de Bomba is done.
CY: That means LILLY!
{La hija de Bomba goes to roll out of the ring, but not before TFT lands a smack on her ass.}
CY: Take that BOMBA!
{Still shaking the effects of the kick to the head earlier in the match, TFT takes a seat in the middle of the ring and faces towards to entrance. La hija de Bomba disappears into the back as music begins to blare.}
{Tyger Lilly appears at the top of the ramp to the tunes of “Bossy”.}
RA: Coming to the ring next, the final competitor in this gauntlet match….TYGER LILLY!
{Lilly runs to the ring throwing her hand up to the crowd as they boo. She climbs up and does a back-flip over the top rope.}
CY: She’s still hot.
{TFT, now on his feet, walks right up to Lilly and attempts to give her a hug.}
CC: This is ridiculous.
{Lilly backhands TFT, disapproving of his advances. She follows the bitch slap with a closed-fist punch to the nose, sending TFT to the mat.}
CY: Haha.
{TFT hops back to his feet and throws a punch of his own, but Lilly blocks the attempt and delievers a knee to the midsection followed by a scissor kick.}
CC: Lilly, a long-time WpW performer taking control early.
{With TFT now on the mat, Lilly climbs the turnbuckle and attempts a frog splash. TFT moves just in time and Lilly slams into the mat. Taking advantage of the opportunity, TFT rolls to his feet and begins putting the boots to the prone Lilly. Seeing an opportunity, TFT grabs Lilly’s blonde hair and pulls her to her feet. He attempts to whip her across the ring, but Lilly blocks and instead attempts to whip TFT. He also blocks and the two break apart.}
CC: A series of blocks by Lilly and The Flying Turd.
{The two competitors then attempt to lock-up in ring. The similar sized wrestlers stalemate, until TFT reaches around with his left hand to pinch Lilly’s ass. She takes a wild shot with her right hand in response. This gives TFT an opportunity to get underneath her and execute a belly-to-belly suplex. Both workers quickly roll to their feet. TFT tries to get inside for another suplex, but Lilly counters with one of her own bridging into a pin attempt….1…..2….KICK OUT!}
CC: Close call for The Flying Turd.
CY: He’s got it under control.
{Lilly gets to her feet first and helps pull TFT to his. Lilly whips TFT across the ring. He goes low on the return and Lilly leapfrogs him. TFT bounds back with Lilly going low this time and TFT leapfrogging her. On the third attempt, neither performer goes low and *THUD*}
CY: Ouch.
{Lilly and TFT collide head to head. Lilly folds up on the spot and falls backward flat on her back.}
CY: What a sickening sound.
{TFT stumbles around for just a second then falls straight to the mat, landing on top of Lilly.}
CC: This is a pin attempt.
{Neither competitor moves as the referee begins the count. 1…….2……3!}
CY: Turd won!
CC: My goodness, The Flying Turd has won the match but both parties may be unconscious after they violently crashed heads in the middle of the ring.
CY: Who cares! Turd won!
RA: Your winner….THE FLYING TURD!
{The referee checks on both Lilly and TFT in ring. Lilly is beginning to stir and quickly notices the limp TFT laying flat on top of her. With the help of the referee she pushes him off and uses the ropes to climb to her feet. Clutching her forehead, she takes a moment to send a couple of stiff boots to TFT’s head before the referee steps in and helps her out of the ring.}
{With the referee helping Lilly to the back, TFT’s “Sh-t Song” begins to play. Turd has yet to move since the collosion but on the start of his theme music, his foot begins to tap in rhythm with the music. As the seconds pass he makes his way to his feet and begins to dancing around the ring, displaying pathetic moves.}
CY: Get down, Turd, get down with your bad self.
{To the laughter of the crowd, TFT continues dancing for a few seconds before making his way out of the ring and towards the back.}
FL: From there I got signed to WpW, my father who was the WpW world champion at the time contract was ending and thy father only would signed if they signed me good money and great fame.
LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria
Narrator: Fire is a good servant but a bad master, the flames of destruction, is also capable of the renewal of life through the warmth and comfort of those very same flames. It always was and will be: an ever-living fire,and now that spring of El Diablo de Pyro is here in WpW La Hija De Bomba Incendiaria! Capable of overcoming evil for the goodness of all, and over shadowing goodness for the power of evil! This is LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria half evil half good and one young lady you don’t want to mess with, For she has return to spear the world and to continue to where her father has left off, to use evil for the sake of good! LaHija DeBomba Incendiaria has arrived!
(As a lightning strike vision effect fades into the next part of the promo )
LaHija DeBomba: ¡Estoy de aquí estacar mi derecho del nacimiento a los campeonatos por equipos de la Etiqueta de WpW en un igual que es sinceramente un honor para mí estar en, como me uno con mi padre! ¡Los espíritus que pasó hacer continúan en forma de mí! ¡Lucy, allí viene un tiempo cuando una señora debe crecer y debe tomar responsabilidad, y mientras aún soy asombrado que soy un joven adolescente que actúo más viejo y más sabio es un golpe a mí aún, ando alrededor es la mujerzuela que usted es pero sabe que mi padre y yo siempre le adoraré! Ahora mientras yo no deseo que confunda este amor para la blandura, sabe hecho que lleno que no en la familia quiere dolerle, pero la Cagada que es una otra historia
(SUBTITLES )( I Am here to stake my birth right to the WpW Tag team championships in a match that is truly a honor for me to be in, as I will team up with my father! The spirits that he passed down to will continue on in the form of me! Lucy, there comes a time when a lady must grow up and take responsibility, and while even I am amazed that I am a young teenager that I act older and wiser is a shock to me even, go around be the slut that you are but know that my father and I will always love you! Now while I don’t want you to confuse this love for softness, know full fact that no in the family wants to hurt you, but the Turd that’s a another story)
(As a lightning strike vision effect fades into the next part of the promo)
LaHija DeBomba: ¡Yo! ¡La cagada quiso el se siente, viene en usted puede ser honesto, hizo le consigo duro, lo que gato consiguió la lengua o es usted atemorizado que mi padre rasgará su derecho de manos de los miembros, no preocupa hay títulos de sustituto para ser jugados abajo este tan optimistamente usted asno de campesino puede leer!
(SUBTITLES )( Yo! Turd did like the feel, come on you can be honest, did I get you hard, what cat got your tongue or are you afraid that my father is going to rip your hands right off your limbs, don’t worry there are sub titles being played under this so hopefully you redneck ass can read! )
(As LaHija DeBomba sticks out her chest showing here covered breasts )
LaHija DeBomba: ¡La cagada, desea otro se siente, se atreve usted tratarlo otra vez, pero entonces yo poder de disfrutó de ello pero por otro parte usted tendrá que esperar para averiguar en Carlota Carolina del norte, cuando su imponiendo de espaldas, no confunde mi edad para la blandura para usted, como soy como mi 100 por ciento de padre y hermano asno malo!
(SUBTITLES )( Turd, want another feel, dare you to try it again, but then I might of enjoyed it but then again you are going to have to wait to find out in Charlotte North Carolina, when your laying down flat on your back, don’t confuse my age for softness for you, as I am just like my father and brother 100 percent bad ass!)
